Starting over...

Yeah, yeah. We've been hearing this one since like....last November when I got sick.

But for reals this time (I hope). There's too much going on here to even begin to summarize, but I'll try. Lost my job. Working freelance now. The upcoming week promises to be one of the more hellacious weeks I've known in some time. At an agency, that usually spells lots of pizza and late nights. Nope, I can't. I just can't.

What I learned from my own behavior last year (when I lost 24 pounds), is that I really need to plan out everything. Every meal, the whole week's meals. Whatever I can do to make sure the following week doesn't go flying off the rails. For me that meant hitting up the store today (even though I was working from home and didn't even have time to watch my two favorite shows!!!) and getting everything I need to succeed. I prepared pretty much the same meals I took pictures of last year. So tomorrow's menu (and pretty much every weekday's menu this coming week, since I didn't have time for a ton of variety!) is: Breakfast casserole (335 calories), soup (130 calories) and chili (275) for lunch, a snack of cucumbers and hummus (200), and spaghetti squash with sauce, sausage, and cheese (vegan, at at that. I figured I'd give it a shot -- 300 calories).

Total: 1240 calories.

Everything's packed and coming with me to work. I don't want to find I got stuck and have to eat their stupid, delicious pizza!

I also worked out a workout schedule. I'll share that later. And a woman from a local dance studio called me back about a Zumba/Bokwa class that's starting up on Weds. And it's late enough (8:15, that I should still be able to make it over there).

Also, Kelly and I saw Jiliian Michaels on Friday, and she was super inspirational. Lots to discuss there, but she's a big proponent of non-GMO/organic stuff. So my cart today was like 90% organic. We'll see how that goes.

Typically, this kind of grand gesture, "Starting Monday..." mentality for me means having a last hurrah kind of night. But I kept it classy. I had eggs and toast for breakfast (trying to get the last bread out of the house before this started!), then I got sushi and a salad at Whole Foods. Which is a super delicious treat, and maybe I'll make that my grocery day ritual! I also got that Arctic Zero ice cream (150 calories a pint, yo!), so we'll see how that is. But if that's my idea of a last hurrah, we're doing okay.

Okay...bedtime!

Change of plans

A while back, I had put out the call on the fitbit site for people who get a LOT of steps. At the time I was aiming for 20k a week and wanted really motivating people on my leaderboard. I got a lot of new friends, including three people who get 25-30,000 steps per day on average.

That's cool and all, and good for them, but I know that one guy gets that many because he's a distance cyclist, racking up like 100 mile bike rides and such on the weekend. I noticed today that another of these people pretty much does like 10,000 a day, except on the weekends when he does 50,000.

I'm not trying to sound like a quitter here, but that's not for me. And it's not motivating to never have a chance to win. So, I know I said I wanted to be in 5th place on my leader board, but that goal has now changed. I'd like to be 3rd. Because I quietly unfriended those three.

My top three now consists of people who get around 16,000-19,000 a day. I can totally see doing 16, and I could even see myself being in 1st place. So rather than continually feeling like I'm not doing so great, I changed it up!

That is all. Carry on.

188

I'm a little confused, because I started my challenge with my friend at 191. I told her 191, but when I look here, I logged it as 190. So in an effort to err on the side of being conservative, let's call it 190.

In any event, I was an even 188 this morning, so mission accomplished in losing 2 lbs this week.

Also, I got more than 10,000 steps every day this past week, so that's awesome.

I think our next challenge is to log our food every day (and, I assume, lose 2 lbs). We've pretty much been logging already, so it's just a matter of being consistent with it.

I'd like a side-challenge with myself. I'm currently in 10th place on my leaderboard on Fitbit. My 7-day average is 12,194. I'd like to be in 5th place, which is currently held by a Steve A. who has a 7-day average of 14,442. So, stupid weather and all, I'm going to make it happen. Why else did they invent trampolines and  Zumba?

Back again?

I was afraid to look at the scale today, but it was 186,2, which, given the shenanigans last night, is borderline miraculous. The weekends tend to be a little less structured for me, but I will continue to log my food (even when it tends to be embarrassing) and keep up with the walking (I'm hoping to get an extra walk in to offset the shenanigans). Also, Zumba tomorrow morning. It's not the easiest for me to get up early for something optional, but I'll do my best.

I have some work to do from home this weekend, as well as a houseguest overnight on Saturday. I made a pot of soup (baby kale greens, mixed vegetables, mirepoix, mushrooms and veggie stock). It's basically my "fill my stomach with something low calorie and fat-free" staple, and it's also good for detoxing after a particularly bad day or two of eating/drinking. Oh, it has very little salt, too.

So, that's the progress, and that's the plan. The goal was to lose 2 lbs for the week, and so far I've lost 3.8. I'd like to maintain this, if not lose a little more before Monday's weigh-in.

Just checking in...

After yesterday's weirdly surprising weigh-in, I wanted check back. Today was 186.0, so no only was yesterday's real, but I lost another .4 lbs. Awesome. We'll see what happens after tonight's sangria/tilapia francaise-fest.

I'm going to try to drink a ton of water today, and I'm having my english muffin with avocado, but nothing else, except fruit. Hopefully, there won't be too much of a change tomorrow.

Wow...could it be?

Am I really back so soon? It occurred to me after the last time I posted that I should have an anti-blog. Basically a place where I blog about all the stuff I'm doing when I'm NOT writing here. It would talk about pieces of cake I've eaten, or beers I've drank, or elaborate dinners out I've had.

Monday I had just over 10,000 steps, but my partner in crime had more, so on Tuesday I got 15454 steps, and today I racked up 15268. I've been eating under my calorie allotments (per My Fitness Pal and Fitbit) and feeling pretty good. I got on the scale this morning and it was down almost 4 pounds. 186.4. I'm not sure what that was about, and I'm not even sure it will stick, but there you have it.

I'll try to weigh in again tomorrow, just to see if it was a fluke.

Also, tomorrow I'm having dinner with friends, and I'm sure there's going to be some sangria and a dish that has more than a few calories. My plan is to eat half tomorrow and the other half the next day. I'll still log it (no matter how bad it is!) But I'm already braced for it to be a little on the side of high calories. I'll just have to make up for it with more exercise and better choices in the days after.

Once more, with feeling!

I feel like this entire year (all two and a half months of it!) has been false starts and stops. I keep adding things that I think will keep me driven, but something is just...off. There was a period over the last few weeks where I was just not feeling so hot (emotionally) and then I think all the stress took its toll on my poor bladder, because I ended up with a UTI. All the while I've been going to Zumba (mostly regularly), but sort of spinning my wheels a bit.

So, today I weighed in at 190. A friend and I (hi Kelly!) have a little challenge going, where we're going to log 10k steps a day every day this week, and lose 2 lbs. Nothing heroic. Just something to keep us accountable and make it a little fun and competitive. We have a money component to it, too, but we're not sure how that will shake out.

Also, I accidentally (Freudian, much?) removed myself from the challenge where I was to lose 10% of my body weight by April 4. Basically, when it happened, I would have had a month to lose more than 20 pounds. I'm still in it for the one where I have to be 149 by October 4.

Anyway, I went grocery shopping tonight and it looked a little something like this:

I wanted to make spaghetti squash with marinara, mozzarella and veggie sausage. I have to get the string cheese, because it's already portioned out. I can't be alone with cheese in the house that's not portioned. I also roasted some eggplant and some portobellas, and it was a pretty amazing, filling meal for 472 calories.

I got some english muffins, because I like them with avocado on them (don't judge!), and I'm obsessed with the plain Chobani these days. It's got the consistency of cake frosting and the plain has 130 calories (vanilla has 170, which is BS). I add vanilla extract (zero calories) and stevia (also zero calories) and have it with a banana.

I got a couple Lightlife entrees (they're vegetarian and kinda good for you, and low calorie), you know, for my active lifestyle. Bwahaha! And I got some of that TrueLemon stuff sweetened with stevia also, because it makes me drink like 100x more water (which you wouldn't know it from my faulty bladder this week).

So, that's it. I'm going to make some healthier choices and hopefully start seeing some awesomeness happen.

Getting back to normal

And today's weight was 186, so obviously a lot of that nonsense is behind me. But seriously, let's make magic happen today. I'm going for 20,000 steps and some strength training at the gym tonight. I'm going to give a quick run a shot, just to see how far I have to go with that. 

That is all. 

Ooof!

I have to remember to write here all the time, not just when things are going well. This weekend I ate pretty much everything. I'm not going to recap everything (beer, cake, chips), but there was just a lot of food in my path, and I did very little to get out of its way.

Today I got on the scale and was 189. Basically a 6-pound gain just over the weekend. A lot of that can be attributed to post-party bloat, sodium, whatever. But seriously, that's kind of gross. (Actually, what's super gross is that I weighed 197 last night. Really? I gained 14 pounds in a day and a half. Whaaaaat?)

All right, so we're back in track, and moving on with our life. And today's eating and working out (Zumba, followed by trampolining) was spot-on. My Fitness Pal tells me that:

If every day were like today...   You'd weigh 168.6 lbs in 5 weeks

Nice!

It works if you work it

So, the month of January was full of ups and downs. I had a bit of stress worrying about some tests and let that distract me. I didn't fully feel the pressure of the contests I've entered. (Dude, there's real money on the line. My money.) But over the past week, I've gotten serious, and even learned that moderation can be a part of "getting serious." There was a good-bye lunch for some coworkers where I made a great choice for lunch (442 calories!), but I also couldn't resist the cheese biscuits (I despise wasting food!) and added 330 calories to my otherwise healthy meal. And there was chocolate cake!

But for the rest of the week, I really pulled it out. Logging all my food (not just when it looked pretty on paper!), and generally being serious about stuff. I had two days this week where I walked more than 20,000 steps (yesterday was 25,000), and I've been going to Zumba 2-3 times a week. And so despite a month of the scale going up, then down, then up, then down, then up again, today, I present you with:

Weight: 183.4
Fat: 36.7%
Water: 46.3%
Muscle: 30.4%

So, not just weight loss, but definite fat loss over last time, and even some muscle gain! Woot!

So, it's February 1. I like February. It's a nice, solid month with exactly four weeks in it. Perfect for getting really serious about one's goals. My friend (Hi, C!! Oooh, I should start calling her Hi-C) is on board for this, too. We're talking about losing 10 pounds in February.

I intend to accomplish this through diligent food logging, weight training and starting to run again. I bought a heart-rate monitor, so I can start to determine whether my working out is actually in the most productive (fat-burning) zone. I got a new pair of running shoes this week, and I'm so excited to get started, that I even woke up early (for me) this morning! So....good luck to everyone else with your goals this month!

Scales

I originally wanted one of those Withings scales or an Aria, but since they run anywhere between $120 and $160 (it's just a SCALE, people!), I had to be a bit realistic. Since the primary feature I was interested in was body fat analysis, I just got a body fat scale for $40 bucks from Target, thanks to an awesome friend for a generous Christmas present.

I compared that scale to my old (regular old digital kind) and the weight was identical last night. Which is why I was a little disappointed when I got on this morning and the weight read 189.2. Because I had been down to 187 on the old scale yesterday morning. Whatever. Out with the old.

So, it also measures water content (I guess for determining WHAT exactly is making you weigh what you do), and estimates muscle percentage.

Without further ado:

Weight: 189.2
Fat: 38.2%
Water: 45.2%
Muscle: 29.7%

So, let's do this for a while and see what the numbers show us. Wheee!

Back again!

I just wanted to come write a quick note about this evening. I meant to pack up all my unhealthy foods (stuff from the holidays/candy/pizza rolls) and send them to live in the freezer of a good friend. I should have done that Tuesday night. But I didn't. 

Today I ate perfectly. I ate everything I planned for yesterday. But before dinner, I got a call from a loved one who needed help with some technology. Said loved one is terrible at technology. It involved calls to help desks, my own laptop crashing, my own cell phone running out of minutes, and other mishaps. Finally, we got through it, but I was sure it was going to end in hysterics, and I wasn't really sure whose they would be.

Afterwards, I reheated my dinner that had been on hold all this time. I ate it, but didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. And after that, I started  thinking about the 2-lb jar of Good & Plenty in my pantry. I started rationalizing how I could just have a handful. But I know that's probably not likely. I told myself it wasn't like I really started the whole regimen today (um, yeah, I did), seeing as how I didn't make 10,000 steps or go to the gym. 

Finally, I just envisioned myself in 4 months getting on the scale and not making the goal of 166.5 pounds. And then I made myself a cup of tea. Granted, the night's not entirely over, but I feel pretty confident that I'm over the whole candy thing for the night. 

Now, to get the stuff out of the house. For reals. 

Getting on this wagon...AGAIN!!!

Okay, so the last plan didn't go quite like I thought it would. I gained another 2 pounds.

The negative side of that, is that I gained back 22 of the 24 pounds I lost.

The positive side is that I lost a total of 2 pounds in 2012. So, if that trend were to continue for the next 3 years, I'd be at my goal weight on my 70th birthday!

In preparation for starting the new year off right, I made some vegetable soup last night, and went onto My Fitness Pal and logged today's food. I planned my entire day of food out in advance, so there could be no surprises. The plan is to continue planning food in advance. Last year, when I lost most of the weight, I was logging the food, preparing it in advance, and making sure I always food with me for work.

So back to that. In order to earn the money on healthywage.com, I will need to have lost 26 pounds by April 4. So, that means 2 pounds a week, and no backsliding and really charging through any plateaus.

Trying to stay positive

So, that little "bug" I had was bronchopneumonia. For a good part of the last few weeks, I've been coughing, tired and having trouble breathing. Now, I feel mostly good. But when I got diagnosed, I realized that 1) the antibiotics were going to negate the effects of the cleanse I was on and 2) having something knock you on your ass like that, you want all your favorite "comfort" foods. 

I got "comforted" all the way up to 190 pounds. 

That means I have gained back 20 of the 24 pounds I lost this year. 

I don't want to get into a whole "shaming" thing where I beat myself up and feel terrible. I'm trying to keep a good sense of humor about things. 

At one point, when I was 180, Bup was, too. So I made a deal with him. For every week we got on the scale and I weighed more than him, I would pay him ten bucks. There's nothing for him to lose; this something I came up with to keep me in check. Now it looks like I'm going to really have to work hard to get out of this one. 

Also, it's no mystery how this happened. I did unspeakable things to an Entenmann's cake, many, many cookies, cupcakes, a pumpkin roll and some mini-muffins. And cheese. Getting sick over Thanksgiving just gave me a bigger license to eat what I wanted. 

So, for reals, this time. Tonight it ends. I'm not letting it slide until New Years, because then I'll have gained weight for the year. There's still time to lose a few pounds before then. 

Tomorrow I eat like I did on the cleanse, with a little more leeway (if I want yogurt or a smoothie, that's fine). I have bananas, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, brown rice, yogurt and a frozen entree for dinner. I also want to make sure I'm at the gym three times this week (in addition to walking). 

Okay...let's get cracking!

Mini-update

Okay, so apparently I can get into a bit of trouble eating such a clean diet. I'm at 179 right now.

I'd be all gung-ho to turn this boat around, but I seem to have gotten some nice little bug -- the flu or something. So I'm feeling pretty terrible. But that doesn't mean there's not time to reconnect with our goals, now, does it?

I'm still working from home during my germy phase, and Thanksgiving is on Thursday. I have a giant project to work on over the weekend, but then, I'm thinking let's really kill it between the holidays. Avoid all the sugar, white flour, etc. And really get going at the gym. I have a really cute app for running that I'd like to try out, so let's make that happen next week.

On the upside, before I got sick, I was feeling MUCH better. Not sleeping all the time, and being able to get through the day without being exhausted all the time. So it was definitely worth it. But now I'm ready to start focusing on the weight loss.

Also, I'm in a few challenges on this site, so I need to kick it into high gear.

Things are getting serious

Okay, not THAT serious. But the last time I was at the doctor's, he said that even though my tests aren't back yet, there's no reason I can't cut out wheat, sugar and alcohol, to sort of clean things up in anticipation of The Big Detox.

Oh...no reason you say? But I LOVE beer! And food!!!

So last weekend, I bid adieu to those things. My diet this week has been mostly clean (a little cheese, dried fruit, mushrooms, nuts and tofu in there, but other than that, veggies and fish). I even went to a crab place with some friends and had corn on the cob and a pot of snow crabs.

But when the cleanse starts, even fish and tofu are on the no-fly list for a while. Sigh. So, today I had a nice salad from Whole Foods. I got my last kombucha for a little while and got some muenster cheese -- my favorite -- so I can say goodbye to my old friend, cheese.

Tomorrow I do my weigh-in for this little challenge. I paid 100 dollars, and if I lose 10% of my body weight in six months, I get 200 back. I'm teetering at a BMI of 30 right this very minute. If I weigh 181 tomorrow, I'm also doing the BMI challenge on the same website. If you're over 30, you pay 300 dollars to enter, and if you're under 25 in a year, you get 1000 bucks. On the one hand, it would be great to be eligible for that, but on the other hand, it's a pretty crappy mindset to wish you were heavier.

I do I feel like I've lost my mojo lately -- mostly due to the exhaustion, but also because I kind of get close to a goal and just lose interest or panic and change direction. So tomorrow's official "doctor scale weigh-in" starts the next chapter. I've been told that the beginning of the cleanse, I'll probably feel crappy, so I'm giving myself a free pass on a few things, like logging/tracking food and fretting about exercise. My logic with the food is that if you can only eat steamed or raw vegetables, how much trouble are you going to get into? And if I'm not eating protein or carbs, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to feel like training for a marathon or anything.

So, let's get this show on the road. I'm ready to start feeling better.

I'm still here

A couple of things have kind of stalled me out. And truthfully, none of them should have done that. I've lost a little motivation. Let's discuss:

1. Somewhere between the thyroid diagnosis and now, I've gotten into a fatigue situation that can only be described as all-out exhaustion. There has been at least another medication change that could have contributed to this, too. But really, I'm tired all day every day. When I don't have to work (ie, weekends), I can sleep for 15-17 hours a day. It's wasteful, I don't feel any better having slept that much, and it's frustrating. Additionally, I have this brain fog situation where I can't retain a lot of information. I can remember the important doctor's appointment, but not the conference call an hour later.

2. I started seeing a new set of doctors. The regular MD said she was out of options for why I'm so tired. The thyroid is now within range, so there's no reason for it. She kind of threw up her hands and suggested psychiatry. I'd be all for that, except that my only symptom is that I'm tired. I don't have pain, depression, or any other symptoms. So I'm seeing this people who do alternative and regular medicine (chiropractic, acupuncture, there's an MD, etc.) We're still in the testing, evaluating phase, but apparently there are some big dietary changes looming. This site is pretty close to what I think will be coming down the pike. http://www.thecandidadiet.com/

Since that's on the immediate horizon (next couple of weeks), I know I'm going to be pretty severely restricted. I'm not going out and eating deep fried garbage, but I'm also not trying to be on a raw food diet or anything right now. That's pretty close to what I'll be on in a few weeks!

3. I'm going away for a few days in a few days, thanks to the generosity of a dear friend of mine (Hi C!) She's watching what she eats, and I'm not going to go crazy or anything, but I'm also feeling like I'm probably not going to be eating as clean as I'd like to be, or as I will be in a couple weeks.

4. Random distractions helping other people with stuff. Nothing crazy, and certainly nothing I couldn't have been fitting healthy eating and working out into, but distractions nonetheless.

I haven't had any significant gains (I still keep bouncing up and down the 170s. I was 176 this morning and 179 on the doctor's scale), so that's good. I've been eating a TON of vegetables, mostly from the farm.

Basically where we're at is this: I'll come back from my jaunt down the shore next week and start getting back into the gym. Start cleaning up the food after my last test (I'm supposed to keep eating however it is I eat before this one.) Then follow whatever eating plan they suggest. There won't be any starchy stuff, alcohol or sugar for a while, so I'm sure we'll see SOMETHING happen! That will at least serve as a nice reboot.

This place also does nutritional and weight loss stuff. So we'll see what kind of magic we can make happen by the end of the year.

Just saying hi!

I'm definitely still here. The last two weeks have been a little frantic with work and related issues. The activity level slowed way down (Fitbit says my average daily steps are 8700 -- not my best work). I've been mostly watching the food, but again, not as super-diligent as I should be.

Today I got on the scale and it said 170. That puts me SO close to being in the 160s (a goal I wanted to reach before I hit the beach in September for a few days with my dear friend -- hi C!)

So that's today's motivation not to stuff my face full of unhealthy crap. The other motivation is that the food from the farm seems to be multiplying. I had to eat almost a whole cantaloupe for breakfast (there's another half in the fridge and a whole watermelon, too!)

So today's goal is to eat well, focus on getting lots of fluids and hopefully seeing something awesome soon.

Just sayin'

Stagnant

Okay, so first the good stuff. I finally surpassed Louann  (and almost everyone) on Fitbit. My average number of steps for the past week has been 17,500. Nice! I'm in 4th place on the leaderboards, and now I'm thinking how nice it would be to have one week where I'm in the lead. I would have to beat out the guy who averages 26,000 a day. (He's a cyclist, and I'm inclined to believe those aren't "steps," as much as they're pedal revolutions.) The #2 spot is occupied by a woman who gets in 22k a day. So it's possible.

The weight loss is stalled though. And this isn't just some "plateau" I've reached because my body's adjusting to the level of exercise I am doing. This is me "eating back my calories" after burning off quite a few. It needs to be changed. I burn about 3000 calories a day (including my BMR). There's no reason I shouldn't have a 1000 calorie deficit each day.

I've been experiencing a lot of fatigue and brain fog lately (I'm assuming related to the thyroid stuff.) It's really hard at the beginning of the day (getting out of bed, getting going, etc). Hopefully, I'll be able to get some of that straightened out with the doctor, because it really is a struggle to do most stuff. I keep up with the steps and such, because I'm afraid of falling into a huge rut. But I feel like 90% of what I call "motivation" is really just caffeine.

Okay...so I'm going to forget about trying to set a weight loss goal for the immediate future. What I'm going to focus on right now is getting the 20,000 steps a day for 7 straight days. Hopefully if I can stop having a ginormous bowl of cereal before I go to bed, I can get the calories under control, too.