Trying to stay positive

So, that little "bug" I had was bronchopneumonia. For a good part of the last few weeks, I've been coughing, tired and having trouble breathing. Now, I feel mostly good. But when I got diagnosed, I realized that 1) the antibiotics were going to negate the effects of the cleanse I was on and 2) having something knock you on your ass like that, you want all your favorite "comfort" foods. 

I got "comforted" all the way up to 190 pounds. 

That means I have gained back 20 of the 24 pounds I lost this year. 

I don't want to get into a whole "shaming" thing where I beat myself up and feel terrible. I'm trying to keep a good sense of humor about things. 

At one point, when I was 180, Bup was, too. So I made a deal with him. For every week we got on the scale and I weighed more than him, I would pay him ten bucks. There's nothing for him to lose; this something I came up with to keep me in check. Now it looks like I'm going to really have to work hard to get out of this one. 

Also, it's no mystery how this happened. I did unspeakable things to an Entenmann's cake, many, many cookies, cupcakes, a pumpkin roll and some mini-muffins. And cheese. Getting sick over Thanksgiving just gave me a bigger license to eat what I wanted. 

So, for reals, this time. Tonight it ends. I'm not letting it slide until New Years, because then I'll have gained weight for the year. There's still time to lose a few pounds before then. 

Tomorrow I eat like I did on the cleanse, with a little more leeway (if I want yogurt or a smoothie, that's fine). I have bananas, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, brown rice, yogurt and a frozen entree for dinner. I also want to make sure I'm at the gym three times this week (in addition to walking). 

Okay...let's get cracking!

Mini-update

Okay, so apparently I can get into a bit of trouble eating such a clean diet. I'm at 179 right now.

I'd be all gung-ho to turn this boat around, but I seem to have gotten some nice little bug -- the flu or something. So I'm feeling pretty terrible. But that doesn't mean there's not time to reconnect with our goals, now, does it?

I'm still working from home during my germy phase, and Thanksgiving is on Thursday. I have a giant project to work on over the weekend, but then, I'm thinking let's really kill it between the holidays. Avoid all the sugar, white flour, etc. And really get going at the gym. I have a really cute app for running that I'd like to try out, so let's make that happen next week.

On the upside, before I got sick, I was feeling MUCH better. Not sleeping all the time, and being able to get through the day without being exhausted all the time. So it was definitely worth it. But now I'm ready to start focusing on the weight loss.

Also, I'm in a few challenges on this site, so I need to kick it into high gear.

Things are getting serious

Okay, not THAT serious. But the last time I was at the doctor's, he said that even though my tests aren't back yet, there's no reason I can't cut out wheat, sugar and alcohol, to sort of clean things up in anticipation of The Big Detox.

Oh...no reason you say? But I LOVE beer! And food!!!

So last weekend, I bid adieu to those things. My diet this week has been mostly clean (a little cheese, dried fruit, mushrooms, nuts and tofu in there, but other than that, veggies and fish). I even went to a crab place with some friends and had corn on the cob and a pot of snow crabs.

But when the cleanse starts, even fish and tofu are on the no-fly list for a while. Sigh. So, today I had a nice salad from Whole Foods. I got my last kombucha for a little while and got some muenster cheese -- my favorite -- so I can say goodbye to my old friend, cheese.

Tomorrow I do my weigh-in for this little challenge. I paid 100 dollars, and if I lose 10% of my body weight in six months, I get 200 back. I'm teetering at a BMI of 30 right this very minute. If I weigh 181 tomorrow, I'm also doing the BMI challenge on the same website. If you're over 30, you pay 300 dollars to enter, and if you're under 25 in a year, you get 1000 bucks. On the one hand, it would be great to be eligible for that, but on the other hand, it's a pretty crappy mindset to wish you were heavier.

I do I feel like I've lost my mojo lately -- mostly due to the exhaustion, but also because I kind of get close to a goal and just lose interest or panic and change direction. So tomorrow's official "doctor scale weigh-in" starts the next chapter. I've been told that the beginning of the cleanse, I'll probably feel crappy, so I'm giving myself a free pass on a few things, like logging/tracking food and fretting about exercise. My logic with the food is that if you can only eat steamed or raw vegetables, how much trouble are you going to get into? And if I'm not eating protein or carbs, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to feel like training for a marathon or anything.

So, let's get this show on the road. I'm ready to start feeling better.

I'm still here

A couple of things have kind of stalled me out. And truthfully, none of them should have done that. I've lost a little motivation. Let's discuss:

1. Somewhere between the thyroid diagnosis and now, I've gotten into a fatigue situation that can only be described as all-out exhaustion. There has been at least another medication change that could have contributed to this, too. But really, I'm tired all day every day. When I don't have to work (ie, weekends), I can sleep for 15-17 hours a day. It's wasteful, I don't feel any better having slept that much, and it's frustrating. Additionally, I have this brain fog situation where I can't retain a lot of information. I can remember the important doctor's appointment, but not the conference call an hour later.

2. I started seeing a new set of doctors. The regular MD said she was out of options for why I'm so tired. The thyroid is now within range, so there's no reason for it. She kind of threw up her hands and suggested psychiatry. I'd be all for that, except that my only symptom is that I'm tired. I don't have pain, depression, or any other symptoms. So I'm seeing this people who do alternative and regular medicine (chiropractic, acupuncture, there's an MD, etc.) We're still in the testing, evaluating phase, but apparently there are some big dietary changes looming. This site is pretty close to what I think will be coming down the pike. http://www.thecandidadiet.com/

Since that's on the immediate horizon (next couple of weeks), I know I'm going to be pretty severely restricted. I'm not going out and eating deep fried garbage, but I'm also not trying to be on a raw food diet or anything right now. That's pretty close to what I'll be on in a few weeks!

3. I'm going away for a few days in a few days, thanks to the generosity of a dear friend of mine (Hi C!) She's watching what she eats, and I'm not going to go crazy or anything, but I'm also feeling like I'm probably not going to be eating as clean as I'd like to be, or as I will be in a couple weeks.

4. Random distractions helping other people with stuff. Nothing crazy, and certainly nothing I couldn't have been fitting healthy eating and working out into, but distractions nonetheless.

I haven't had any significant gains (I still keep bouncing up and down the 170s. I was 176 this morning and 179 on the doctor's scale), so that's good. I've been eating a TON of vegetables, mostly from the farm.

Basically where we're at is this: I'll come back from my jaunt down the shore next week and start getting back into the gym. Start cleaning up the food after my last test (I'm supposed to keep eating however it is I eat before this one.) Then follow whatever eating plan they suggest. There won't be any starchy stuff, alcohol or sugar for a while, so I'm sure we'll see SOMETHING happen! That will at least serve as a nice reboot.

This place also does nutritional and weight loss stuff. So we'll see what kind of magic we can make happen by the end of the year.

Just saying hi!

I'm definitely still here. The last two weeks have been a little frantic with work and related issues. The activity level slowed way down (Fitbit says my average daily steps are 8700 -- not my best work). I've been mostly watching the food, but again, not as super-diligent as I should be.

Today I got on the scale and it said 170. That puts me SO close to being in the 160s (a goal I wanted to reach before I hit the beach in September for a few days with my dear friend -- hi C!)

So that's today's motivation not to stuff my face full of unhealthy crap. The other motivation is that the food from the farm seems to be multiplying. I had to eat almost a whole cantaloupe for breakfast (there's another half in the fridge and a whole watermelon, too!)

So today's goal is to eat well, focus on getting lots of fluids and hopefully seeing something awesome soon.

Just sayin'

Stagnant

Okay, so first the good stuff. I finally surpassed Louann  (and almost everyone) on Fitbit. My average number of steps for the past week has been 17,500. Nice! I'm in 4th place on the leaderboards, and now I'm thinking how nice it would be to have one week where I'm in the lead. I would have to beat out the guy who averages 26,000 a day. (He's a cyclist, and I'm inclined to believe those aren't "steps," as much as they're pedal revolutions.) The #2 spot is occupied by a woman who gets in 22k a day. So it's possible.

The weight loss is stalled though. And this isn't just some "plateau" I've reached because my body's adjusting to the level of exercise I am doing. This is me "eating back my calories" after burning off quite a few. It needs to be changed. I burn about 3000 calories a day (including my BMR). There's no reason I shouldn't have a 1000 calorie deficit each day.

I've been experiencing a lot of fatigue and brain fog lately (I'm assuming related to the thyroid stuff.) It's really hard at the beginning of the day (getting out of bed, getting going, etc). Hopefully, I'll be able to get some of that straightened out with the doctor, because it really is a struggle to do most stuff. I keep up with the steps and such, because I'm afraid of falling into a huge rut. But I feel like 90% of what I call "motivation" is really just caffeine.

Okay...so I'm going to forget about trying to set a weight loss goal for the immediate future. What I'm going to focus on right now is getting the 20,000 steps a day for 7 straight days. Hopefully if I can stop having a ginormous bowl of cereal before I go to bed, I can get the calories under control, too.