"I can't"

There was a woman at the gym last night working with a personal trainer. I got the impression that the trainer was new for her. She was on the heavy side and didn't seem very confident. I can totally relate. It took me months of using the ellipticals and treadmills in the movie theater section of the gym before I was ready to go out on the floor where the general population works out.

It's intimidating. There are lots of really fit, healthy people lifting weights and using the machines. One of the biggest problems is that there are, what I call "bro clusters" or "honey bunches of bros." These guys--typically in their early 20s--like to work out in packs--there are usually three in a cluster. One works out on a machine, and the other two lean on the machine and watch. It's kind of disturbing, and it makes the whole atmosphere feel very high school-ish. 

So, this girl's working out, and her trainer shows her a move he wants her to do. Using one of the cable machines, he wants her to do this exercise. I'll be honest--I wouldn't even do this one, and I'm fairly comfortable using most of the machines there now. He demonstrates the entire thing, and tells her to try it. And she says, "I can't." 

Now, I don't know all of the details surrounding why she thought she couldn't, but I do know a few things. One is that, if you ever really believed you "can't" do something at the gym, the time for that is before you pay a personal trainer to publicly train you in a gym. Also, if you have any limitations (say you're missing a leg, or have a bad back, or asthma, or whatever), you should make your trainer aware of this (you probably had to disclose this before starting the sessions or joining the gym anyway) so they can work around your limitations.

I'd be willing to guess this woman was feeling self-conscious. It's easy to think everyone's staring at you. The thing is, nothing calls more attention to you than wussing out during a workout with your trainer. By the time you got to the gym, you've already realized you need help in the fitness/weight loss department, joined a gym, and made an appointment with an intimidatingly large guy to help you conquer this problem once and for all. Once you've taken those brave steps and walked through the door for your training appointment, there should be nothing on your mind (not other people, not how your clothes fit---nothing) except focusing all of your attention on what the trainer is asking you to do, and doing it. 

Also, someone might look, sure. I obviously did, but I look at lots of people. I don't stare, but if I see someone working on a machine I want to try, I'll take a look to see how it's done before trying it myself. The truth is, most people are far too concerned with their own workout to worry about what someone else is doing. 

I assume the trainer told her she was going to do it (duh--what kind of trainer would hear "I can't" and just say, "Oh, sure, no problem. Let's go get a snack and watch TV!"), because sure enough, she was on the floor, doing the exercise. 

Unfortunately, I've seen people getting trained at several gyms, and this happens ALL THE TIME. A woman is working with a trainer and when something is too hard (either physically, or for other reasons, like self-consciousness), they say those two words. It's just kind of weird to see someone who's clearly made a decision to get in better shape be so resistant to the help they're paying for. I guess it's important to put it in perspective. Sure, the work is hard, but anyone who's lived as an out-of-shape person should know bigger hardships than an awkward 5 minute exercise at the gym.